I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
