So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
