Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
