i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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