i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
