I swear god or herbie drove my car home
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How naked do you want me to be?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
