He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
