I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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