So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
do herpes really smell.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
