You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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