Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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