My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
