She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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