Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
