so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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