i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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