he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
