need another drink. this is the easiest way
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
