If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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