i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
