I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
