I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Pants are for mortals
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
