guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i wish my penis had a tongue
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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