I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
