She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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