So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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