my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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