We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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