They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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