Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
