Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
