So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
