fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
