people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
