I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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