I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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