after a month anything with tits is on the radar
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Randomize
