What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
