My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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