I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
that is very illegal...i love you.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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