I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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