my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
