i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
