he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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