I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
last night I used snow as a chaser
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
