dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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