Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
