it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
