cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
