seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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