We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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